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Just the Two of Us: Portraits of Cosplay Enthusiasts in their Homes by Klaus Pichler [14 photos]

Driving Styles

Depending on where someone is from and where they are driving you can make some assumptions about their driving styles and etiquette...

Chicago: One hand on wheel, one hand on horn.

New York: One hand on wheel, one finger out window.

New Jersey: One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic.

Boston: One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator.

Scarborough, Ontario: Both hands clenched on steering wheel, driver staring directly forward, cutting in front of you and slowing down to 40 in a 60 zone then looking in rearview mirror in wonder as to why the car behind is flashing high beams.

Los Angeles: One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator with gun in lap

Ohio, but driving in California: Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror.

Italy: Both hands in air and gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat.

Seattle: One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game.

Texas: One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on the brake, throwing a McDonald's bag out the window.

West Virginia: Four-wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna.

Florida: Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on.

Edmonton: One gloved hand on wheel, one hand on heater, feet up underneath bum to keep warm, 3 differently decorated ice scrapers, one plastic, broken; one steel, broken; one pastel, hidden in trunk. neither foot on accelerator or brakes because with all the ice on the roads, you're all moving at the same speed either way.

Dubuque, Iowa: no use of turn signal, or left on for 26 blocks...also cradling cheap cell phone.

Maine: Beat up 1983 Dodge Ram pick-up truck, right hand holding a Dunkin Donuts coffee, cigarette dangling from mouth, greasy hair shoved underneath an oil stained cap and classic rock blaring from the radio.

Vancouver: Canadian beer in one hand, B.C. Weed in the other. Dick on the steering wheel

New Orleans: One hand on wheel, one hand holding down sum hookers head while she's giving head!

Pennsylvania: Both hands on reigns.

California: (Bay Area / Silicon Valley) One hand on laptop computer, one hand at on-board navigation/Internet console installed in dash board, cell phone attached to head with microphone earpiece, having a executive meeting with half a dozen people on speaker phone, palm pilot wedged between knees to observe up to date stock quotes, and shoes kicked off, and feet crossed because traffic hasn't moved in the past hour.

Montana: One finger on steering wheel of jacked up 4x4, Charlie Daniels blaring from speakers, dead coyote in back, hay leaves blowing out of bed while going down the highway.

Nebraska: Two hands on wheel, with head lodged up ass, chunks of rust falling off by the pound.

Quebec: engaged in heated political discussion with espresso in one hand and croissant in the other, aiming for pedestrians who have the mistaken notion that crosswalks are for them.

Michigan: Both hands on wheel and head up ass.

Toronto: Both hands on the wheel, seat as far forward as possible, head fixed only looking forward, ignoring people behind and beside you, stopping and waiting for the road to fully clear before making any forward progress.

Los Angeles: Lowered Honda, can't see over dash, driving too fast or too slow, car sounds like a bee as it goes by.

Angry Birds and other awesome paintball condoms

Here are some strange condom for your paintball fun. Angry Birds and Iron Man are the most suited imo.

Black Angry Bird

11 magic eye pictures [part 1]

The 3D stereogram widely known as Magic Eye 3D is different from other 3D pictures or technologies as no special viewing aids are required to see Magic Eye 3D pictures. By training your eye muscles to behave in a certain way, a 3D image will magically appear.

3D viewing instructions:

Hold the center of the printed image right up to your nose. It should be blurry. Focus as though you are looking through the image into the distance. Very slowly move the image away from your face until the two squares above the image turn into three squares. If you see four squares, move the image farther away from your face until you see three squares. If you see one or two squares, start over!

When you clearly see three squares, hold the page still, and the hidden image will magically appear. Once you perceive the hidden image and depth, you can look around the entire 3D image. The longer you look, the clearer the illusion becomes. The farther away you hold the page, the deeper it becomes. Good Luck!

1 Three Cows

Get dressed NOW or you're going in your underwear

I was perhaps 9 years old when it happened.

I had a terrible habit as a kid to want to sleep in until the last possible moment. Ok, who am I kidding? I still do that. I'm usually about 30 seconds late for work every day. But when I was a kid, this drove my mother to the brink of sanity. She put up with it for a long time always managing to get me roused and dressed, books in hand and out the door for school just in the nick of time. Sometimes she'd peek her head in my bedroom door every 10 minutes and check in, making sure I was on track. And generally I managed to get myself together with seconds to spare. But there WAS that one time...

6:45am
Mom: "Sweetie, it's time to get up and get dressed."
Me: "Uhhhhaaaaaaaaaaamffff..."

6:55am
Mom: "Honey, we have to leave at 7:30 if we're going to get you to school on time. Please get up and start getting dressed or you won't have time for breakfast!"
Me: "Ushdfgakjasgh..."

7:05am
Mom: "Justin, get out of bed. I mean it. You're already going to be pressed for time to eat breakfast. We're leaving at 7:30, whether you're ready or not."
Me: "Arrrrggghh...Ok, I'm up, I'm up."

7:15am
Mom: "Sweetie, are you dressed yet? I've got your breakfast ready..."
Me: "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."
Mom: "DAMN IT! Wake UP and get READY!!! I swear to you Justin, we're leaving here at 7:30. I don't care if you miss your breakfast. I don't care if you aren't dressed for school."
Me: "Ok, sorry...sorry. I'm up."

7:25am
Mom: "Are you still awake? Good...why aren't you dressed? Get dressed NOW or you're going in your underwear."
Me: "Ok."

7:30am
Mom: "Alright, let's go. Grab your backpack."
Me: "But Mom, I'm not ready..."
Mom: "Tough."

She grabbed me by the arm and escorted me out the front door. No shoes, no shirt, not a stitch of clothing besides my tighty whities. She held me by the wrist and led me to the car. I can't remember this very clearly because I was somewhat upset. I do remember that I was crying uncontrollably. Likely pleading and begging in some fashion. She put me in the back seat, got in, and drove away casually as if nothing in the world was out of place. And as I began to calm somewhat, I sat, mostly naked and full of fear, in the back seat pondering my next move. I didn't have any more outs. I had no clothing and no plan. I was fucked. I was going to school in my underwear.

Never once did it cross my mind that this could be a bluff. My mother didn't bluff. She wasn't turning the car around. Heck, we were halfway to school already! Here I was, in my undies and headed toward certain ridicule and major embarrassment of the worst kind, the ridicule of grade-school peers. And all because I'd chosen to sleep when I should have been getting dressed. When I should have been enjoying a nutritious breakfast. I slept this upon myself. I had learned my lesson. It wouldn't happen again. I'd always get up from now on at first call. Various other reasoning and begging followed. I gazed into the rearview mirror, looking her in the eyes. I groveled. And she stared back and me, cold and firm in her resolution.

We pulled into the driveway of my school, and up the lane to the front doors; the main car-rider drop off point. My mother didn't even put the car in park. She just looked at me expectantly in the rearview. Not a speck of emotion. "Well?...," said her eyes. I began to cry again. She put the car in park, killed the engine, unfastened her seatbelt, and got out. I was completely prepared. I had mentally readied myself to be dragged from the car, in a cliched kicking and screaming fashion. My mother went around back of the car and opened the trunk, from which she removed a brown paper grocery bag. She came back around to the side and opened my door. She stood there looking at me, like I was the worst child ever. And she handed me the brown bag with my clothes inside. "Get dressed."

That was indeed the last time I ever failed to hearken to my mother's wakeup call.

You know you're a grad student when...

* You can identify universities by their internet domains.
* You are constantly looking for a thesis in novels.
* You have difficulty reading anything that doesn't have footnotes.
* You understand jokes about Foucault.
* The concept of free time scares you.
* You consider caffeine to be a major food group.
* You've ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied.
* Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
* The professor doesn't show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway.
* You've ever travelled across two state lines specifically to go to a library.
* You appreciate the fact that you get to choose which twenty hours out of the day you have to work.
* You still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you'll get over it).
* You can read course books and cook at the same time.
* You schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can come.
* You hope it snows during spring break so you can get more studying in.
* You've ever worn out a library card.
* You find taking notes in a park relaxing.
* You find yourself citing sources in conversation.
* You've ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.
* You can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
* Your office is better decorated than your apartment.
* You have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.
* You are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
* You have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
* You rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
* Everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
* You have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
* You have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
* There is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
* You actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
* You can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
* You look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.
* You regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
* You consider all papers to be works in progress.
* Professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
* You find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
* You have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
* You have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
* You find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".
* You start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."
* You often wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.
* You look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
* You have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
* You wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication".
* You have a favourite flavour of instant noodle.

Beer troubleshooting

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

Congratulations!

Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says,

"Congratulations, you got twins."

The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins."

After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says,
"Congratulations, you got triplets."
Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says

"Congratulations, you got twins x2."

Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons."

All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall.

They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

Michelle Jenneke is happy in the rain

Tha girl makes me happy. I don't want to see her talk, or see her nude (not that I would complain), I just enjoy looking at her little dance before the race. She makes my day, everytime.

thanks Michelle and  Happy New Year everyone

Why is your skin that dark?

"My cousins cat stares at his black friends like this for 5 minutes every time they come over. It's strange and interesting."

Some girls are just stupid

Some girl put her number on one of Justin Bieber's Instagram pics so I texted her pretending to be him.

Thinking of her

So my pregnant girlfriend asked me to take pics of things that remind me of her while I'm over here in Dubai. Nailed it!

Toughest Golf Shot

A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed like an eternity. Looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it man, you'll never hit her from here!"

Have you found Jesus..?

Well which is wh- ooooooooooooooh...

Looking for the bathrooms in a pizza place. "Well which is wh- ooooooooooooooh..."

11 magic eye pictures [part 2]

The 3D stereogram is different from other 3D pictures or technologies as no special viewing aids are required to see Magic Eye 3D pictures. By training your eye muscles to behave in a certain way, a 3D image will magically appear.

3D viewing instructions:

Hold the center of the printed image right up to your nose. It should be blurry. Focus as though you are looking through the image into the distance. Very slowly move the image away from your face until the two squares above the image turn into three squares. If you see four squares, move the image farther away from your face until you see three squares. If you see one or two squares, start over!

When you clearly see three squares, hold the page still, and the hidden image will magically appear. Once you perceive the hidden image and depth, you can look around the entire 3D image. The longer you look, the clearer the illusion becomes. The farther away you hold the page, the deeper it becomes. Good Luck!

1 Dragon

13 Extreme body parts

There are times we believe that something is wrong on our bodies. Check these people and you'll feel better!

1 Largets Breasts

This is Annie Hawkins-Turner. The around chest (over nipple measurement) is 70 inches. [source] [more pics]

Offensive ice

Ice banned for looking like Allah.

I can fix that

Sitbealt broken?

I can fix that.

Daring me to crack a smile

The owner of the hotel insisted on telling me about the local village, deliberately mentioning its name in every sentence while looking me right in the eye with dead seriousness, as if daring me to crack a smile.

Ballery

Worlds Guard 2

Anodyne Demo

Monty Pythons - Football

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Living with 3 women....!

Missing kitten found in fat woman

Fat Cat

Greg Giraldo - Jesus loves us

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Angelah Johnson - Dating Habits

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Kristen Schaal at Uptown Showdown - Babies vs Old People

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